The relationships in our lives are constantly breeding new sets of experiences for us. They force us to get out of our comfort zones and challenge us to set new postmarks in our lives. We can’t learn to run without falling, but the scraped knees and scars are what ends up shaping us. If we never venture away from the comfortable, we wouldn’t take the risks that end up making the journey so worthwhile. After all, many of us willingly enter this “Game of Love” in the hopes of finding that one person to make all the bruises worth it. Relationships have always come to us in a variety of forms; and with it, a slew of partners. Some are given to us: our mothers, sisters, or mother-in-laws. Others can be introduced to us: they are foreign, new, and exciting. As we build relationships with strangers, whether it be in the form of a newly introduced author or from a colleague in a neighboring cubicle, it can be limitless of the areas that they can lead us into. And just as relationships come in its many different varieties, I also believe that so do soulmates.
“Don’t laugh at me, but maybe we could be each others soulmates? And then we could let men be just these great nice guys to have fun with.” Charlotte York couldn’t have hit it closer to home even if she had tried. I have always prided myself on the fact that my close-knit circle of girlfriends were made up of friends that I’ve known since high school and even one since the first grade. Girlfriends are like a woman’s favorite wonderbra, not only do we need the support but it’s the basic essential that so many women need to look good. And often enough, we find that we need support systems for our support systems! What I’ve come to realize over the years,among my circle of girlfriends, is the fact that men truly do come and go. But if you’re like me and have also been blessed with a wonderful set of women, you will find that they will truly make up the foundation that you stand on. So no matter which man has decided to come in and disrupt your life, shake you to your core, and leave you a little worse for wear; if you have that strong support system you know that no matter how grueling the repair job may be, it will be done. That level of reassurance right there? That’s the beauty of it all.
The same set of rules of finding a life partner works interchangeably in finding your girlfriends. Find people that make you into a better, kinder, and happier person. Find others that are, most importantly, able to grow with you. And if after a span of 10+ years and you still find each other hilarious and find their flaws endearing – by golly I think you’ve found your soulmate. But just like in finding your soulmate, you must remember not to lose yourself in the process. We often forget that the most important soulmate is the one that you get when you find yourself. In the words of Candace Bushnell, “The most challenging and significant relationship of all is the one that you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well that’s just fabulous.”