As many of you know, I recently made the decision to leave my corporate family in attempts to focus on my actual one. But as my two weeks are coming to a close and my last paycheck pending, despite being a naturally optimistic person, I’ve been finding it extremely difficult to grasp the concept of taking a break. Seemingly a good idea at the time, perhaps fueled by me being burned out, this has been truly a new thought-process for me. And not even a week in, I think I’ve gotten cold feet. My anxiety threshold had reached a dangerously high level and I ask myself if I had let my optimism get the best of me on this one. Maybe I’m not cut out for this whole live life spontaneously gig. Sure enough, panic followed.
Then, reason got a hold of me, and once again my belief in the idea of something better began to take precedence. Why is it that we can always be our friends’ biggest supporters yet when it comes to ourselves – be our very own worst critic? We’ve all heard of “the grass is always greener,” serving as a note-to-self in keeping our green-eyed monster in check. But I don’t know about you guys, but that little saying isn’t going to do much for me when my friend gets a promotion that’s double their salary, or gets to travel on her fabulous new job, or when you get passed over for your dream job. This doesn’t mean to say you’re a bad person. Jealousy, in moderation and when appropriate, can be a powerful motivator and really light that fire from underneath you to get you to where you need to be.
I am honest-to-God 120% genuinely happy for my friends, often enough more excited than they are themselves! But there is no denying that in the shadow of their success there isn’t some wear on my patience when I’m thinking to myself, “When is it my turn?” But I took a second to step back and began to tell myself to focus on my own lawn versus looking at the Joneses. If I want enviably green(er) grass, I need to commit to it. I need to fertilize it. I need to water it. I need to weed it. I need to maintain it. Or maybe…I just need to hire a gardener (I kid!). Point-being, the grass is greener where you water it; and in time, your yard will begin to take form and start to take a life of its own. Then, don’t be surprised when you catch your neighbors constantly peeking over from their side of the fence. Because you know what? They’re thinking to themselves, “Damn, that’s a pretty good-looking yard.”